"You may not be thinking about politics, but politics is thinking about you" -Kerry Washington
The political process involves you whether you vote or do not vote. It is important that you learn the political processes, be informed of the issues not only nationally, but in your city and your state, and be an ACTIVE PARTICIPANT in making your voice heard to the elected officials who are representing you. This means you have to write letters, emails, sign petitions, march, walk, donate money, protest, volunteer, and pray for the people & issues that affect you and in which you have a passion.
Politics doesn't end after Election day, so our involvement should not end either. Shifts and Movements in the political climate will only happen when people shift and move the political climate.
Don't make excuses... Make a change and make a positive difference.
Sep 29, 2012
Your Steps are Ordered by God
When I feel like my life is spiriling in a direction that I can't control, I remember this song by Fred Hammond.
Your Steps are Ordered
By Fred Hammond
Every step of a righteous man
Is ordered by God
Ordered
Though you may not know his mind
He will reveal it all in time
Just know till then
Your steps are ordered by God
When it feels like the mountains to high
And your tired of the climb
When it feels like my patience is frustrated with time
I depend on the spirit
To gently remind
When my faith is challenged
And my vision is obscured
When I'm hanging on by a thread
And my footings unsure
I hear in the spirit
One word to help me endure
And it says ordered
Ordered, Ordered, Ordered
Before the world was framed
Ordered, Ordered, Ordered
Before the whole world was framed
Ordered, Ordered, Ordered
Through the fire
Through the flood
When life takes you through winding turns
Ordered, Ordered, Ordered
Your Steps are Ordered
By Fred Hammond
Every step of a righteous man
Is ordered by God
Ordered
Though you may not know his mind
He will reveal it all in time
Just know till then
Your steps are ordered by God
When it feels like the mountains to high
And your tired of the climb
When it feels like my patience is frustrated with time
I depend on the spirit
To gently remind
When my faith is challenged
And my vision is obscured
When I'm hanging on by a thread
And my footings unsure
I hear in the spirit
One word to help me endure
And it says ordered
Ordered, Ordered, Ordered
Before the world was framed
Ordered, Ordered, Ordered
Before the whole world was framed
Ordered, Ordered, Ordered
Through the fire
Through the flood
When life takes you through winding turns
Ordered, Ordered, Ordered
Sep 5, 2012
Gossip: The Unrighteous STD
People who listen to rumors have promiscuous ears: They'll Hear Anything
People who entertain rumors have promiscuous minds: They'll Believe Anything
People who spread rumors have promiscuous tongues: They'll Say EVERYTHING
Gossip: The Unrighteous STD
Gossiping is the worst Sinfully Transmitted Disease (STD) you can ever have, spread, or receive. Yet it's spreading like wild fire, running rampant, and is affecting your entire family! Yes even your children can contract the promiscuous disease of the Gossip! No one is safe from the danger of gossip, rumors, and slander! But you can prevent yourself and your loved ones from ever having to suffer from the results of GOSSIP!
What is Gossip?
The Hebrew word translated “gossip” in the Old Testament is defined as “one who reveals secrets, one who goes about as a talebearer or scandal-monger.” A gossiper is a person who has privileged information about people and proceeds to reveal that information to those who have no business knowing it. Gossip is distinguished from sharing information in two ways:
1. Intent. Gossipers often have the goal of building themselves up by making others look bad and exalting themselves as some kind of repositories of knowledge.
2. The type of information shared. Gossipers speak of the faults and failings of others, or reveal potentially embarrassing or shameful details regarding the lives of others without their knowledge or approval. Even if they mean no harm, it is still gossip. [ref. The Quest Bible]
How do you know if you've contracted the Gossip disease?
The symptoms of a Gossiper include:
1. Itching Ears:
For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables. (2 Timothy 4:3-4)
2. Difficulty paying attention:
A wicked person listens to deceitful lips; a liar pays attention to a destructive tongue.(Pr. 17:4)
3. You have problems keeping your mouth shut:
You use your mouth for evil and harness your tongue to deceit. (Ps. 50:19 NIV)
4. You can’t keep a secret:
A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret (Pr. 11:13 NIV)
5. People avoid you:
A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much (Pr. 20:19 NIV)
What happens if you do not treat or get rid of the Gossip disease?
Gossiping has disastrous results if it is not properly removed from the body, mind, heart, spirit, and most of all, the mouth.
Proverbs 18:7–8
7 A fool’s mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul.
8 The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body.
Gossipers are listed among the sinful, unrighteous, unclean, and put themselves in danger of receiving the wrath of God.
Romans 1:28-32
28 Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done. 29 They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, 30 slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; 31 they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy. 32 Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.
How do you avoid contracting or spreading Gossip?
Proverbs 21:23 NIV
Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity.
We must be careful with what we say and refrain from the sinful act of gossiping. We should avoid speaking unless it is necessary and appropriate for us to speak, especially when it is of others. When we speak of our brothers and sisters, we should be vigilant to only speak positively about them or not at all. As the saying goes, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it all.”
26 States Cut Education Budgets
26 States Cut Their Education Budgets For This School Year
By Travis Waldron on Sep 4, 2012 at 12:55 pm
States have made deep cuts to their education budgets in the years since the Great Recession, and as their budgets remained crunched by lower levels of tax revenues, more than half are spending less on education this school year than they did last year, a new analysis from the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities found. Overall, 26 states will spend less per pupil in fiscal year 2013 than they spent in 2012, while 35 are still spending less than they did before the recession.
As the following chart from CBPP shows, Alaska, Alabama, and Washington are leading the way in education cuts, reducing funding by at least $200 per student:
Education spending isn’t back to its pre-recession levels in nine additional states, including Florida, which is boosting per pupil funding by $273 this year. Over the previous four years, however, Florida cut per pupil spending by $569. Seventeen states, according to CBPP, have cut their education budgets by at least 10 percent over the last five years.
These cuts actually helped make the economic downturn worse, as they forced states and localities to layoff teachers and other education-sector workers. Since 2009, more than 200,000 teaching jobs have vanished.
But the cuts also have damaging effects on America’s education system as a whole. Cutting education budgets forces school districts to scale back services and programs. The cuts, as CBPP notes, can undermine education reform efforts, and since they are often disproportionately targeted at low-income school districts, education cuts can also exacerbate the education gap that already exists between low- and high-income students.
Fellow Christians: America was Not Founded By Christians
Despite popular opinion, the United States was not founded upon Christian principles, rather it was founded on the principles of Deism and the rejection of theocracies (government controlled by religious leaders). Most of the "Founding Fathers" were Deists meaning they believed in the existence of God, but did not believe in a structure of organized religion, the power of prayer; the life, death, burial, and ressurection of Jesus Christ; that the Bible was divinely inspired; or miracles. Deism is talked about thoroughly in the book 'The Age of Reason' by Thomas Paine who is also called the Father of the American Revolution.
Thomas Jefferson, who was the primary writer of the Declaration of Independence, was a deist. When He wrote the D.O.I., Jefferson was sure not to include any references to any religious dogma; He wrote about the "wall of separation between the church and state"; Jefferson did not believe in the Divine Nature of Jesus Christ, but was fond of the Bible's teachings about morality. He cut and pasted from the New Testament scriptures dealing with morals and but left anything and everything else that dealt with miracles and the Divine Nature of Jesus Christ.
____________________________________
So I wrote this to say, as Christians, we have to understand where our help comes from. It doesn't come from a Republican... it doesn't come from a Democrat. In fact, it doesn't come from anything in politics! Your help comes from the Lord! The Lord who MADE Heaven and Earth!
Don't get drawn into these political arguments believing that being on a certain side is more "holier" than the other. The fact is, when the American government was set up, they denied Jesus Christ as the Messiah. And the way the political process and economy has been established in the USA, has and will always deny Jesus Christ as long as it is identified as Capitalist Democracy.
Yes, we should be involved with the political process. Yes, we should be aware of social issues in our own communities and the world around us. Yes, we should fight against injustice by using the political system and discourse. Because we are citizens of this nation. But we must remember our first allegience is to God in Jesus Christ and the commandment that we love one another as He loved us.
Thomas Jefferson, who was the primary writer of the Declaration of Independence, was a deist. When He wrote the D.O.I., Jefferson was sure not to include any references to any religious dogma; He wrote about the "wall of separation between the church and state"; Jefferson did not believe in the Divine Nature of Jesus Christ, but was fond of the Bible's teachings about morality. He cut and pasted from the New Testament scriptures dealing with morals and but left anything and everything else that dealt with miracles and the Divine Nature of Jesus Christ.
____________________________________
So I wrote this to say, as Christians, we have to understand where our help comes from. It doesn't come from a Republican... it doesn't come from a Democrat. In fact, it doesn't come from anything in politics! Your help comes from the Lord! The Lord who MADE Heaven and Earth!
Don't get drawn into these political arguments believing that being on a certain side is more "holier" than the other. The fact is, when the American government was set up, they denied Jesus Christ as the Messiah. And the way the political process and economy has been established in the USA, has and will always deny Jesus Christ as long as it is identified as Capitalist Democracy.
Yes, we should be involved with the political process. Yes, we should be aware of social issues in our own communities and the world around us. Yes, we should fight against injustice by using the political system and discourse. Because we are citizens of this nation. But we must remember our first allegience is to God in Jesus Christ and the commandment that we love one another as He loved us.
34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35(NIV)
So be informed of the issues on the ballot (local, state, federal); start dissecting these campaign ads; get to know the people who are running; because everyone that proclaims to believe in God... is not a Christian. And you will know if they are a Christian not by the issues they support or do not support, but by the people they have encountered and touched.
Aug 24, 2012
The Battle: I'm 30 Now
My birthday was August 6th. I'm officially 30.
And you know what...
I do feel older.... more mature.
I look at things in the world and the people around me a bit differently.
I appreciate my mother more. I treasure my grandmothers and aunt, the little time we have left together in this world.
I wonder how it feels to be in your 80s and 90s in this world today. It must be so drastically different from when they were 30. The choices they had to make. The careers they had to choose from... the children they have raised.
It makes me hurt for them.
Do they ever pine for their youth? Or wish for someone to hear the thoughts in their minds that they can't convey into words due to the dementia and old age?
I look into their eyes and I just see the desire. The desire to respected, loved, appreciated, and needed like they once were at a point in their lives.
Just to feel important is to be important.
The gleam. I see it. It's still there. The desire. I see it. It's still there. The passion for life. I see it. Still there.
Yet when you're wrapped inside a feeble body and a mind that's going through a constant loop of memories that you are trying to hold on to for dear life... you get lost.
Forgetting. Trying to remember. That's the battle they fight everyday.
My battle?
My battle is just trying to focus. Life. Love. Family. God.
I understand, but keeping focus... that's my war.
And you know what...
I do feel older.... more mature.
I look at things in the world and the people around me a bit differently.
I appreciate my mother more. I treasure my grandmothers and aunt, the little time we have left together in this world.
I wonder how it feels to be in your 80s and 90s in this world today. It must be so drastically different from when they were 30. The choices they had to make. The careers they had to choose from... the children they have raised.
It makes me hurt for them.
Do they ever pine for their youth? Or wish for someone to hear the thoughts in their minds that they can't convey into words due to the dementia and old age?
I look into their eyes and I just see the desire. The desire to respected, loved, appreciated, and needed like they once were at a point in their lives.
Just to feel important is to be important.
The gleam. I see it. It's still there. The desire. I see it. It's still there. The passion for life. I see it. Still there.
Yet when you're wrapped inside a feeble body and a mind that's going through a constant loop of memories that you are trying to hold on to for dear life... you get lost.
Forgetting. Trying to remember. That's the battle they fight everyday.
My battle?
My battle is just trying to focus. Life. Love. Family. God.
I understand, but keeping focus... that's my war.
Jul 23, 2012
A Thin Line Between Love and Hate: Christian on Christian Crime
A Thin Line Between Love and Hate: Christian on Christian Crime
1 John 2:3-10 (NIV)
Love and Hatred for Fellow Believers
3 We know that we have come to know him if we keep his commands.
4 Whoever says, “I know him,” but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in that person.
5 But if anyone obeys his word, love for God is truly made complete in them. This is how we know we are in him:
6 Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did.
7 Dear friends, I am not writing you a new command but an old one, which you have had since the beginning. This old command is the message you have heard.
8 Yet I am writing you a new command; its truth is seen in him and in you, because the darkness is passing and the true light is already shining.
9 Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister is still in the darkness.
10 Anyone who loves their brother and sister lives in the light, and there is nothing in them to make them stumble.
When we entertain rumors, gossip, suspicion, lies, stereotypes, and fears about others in our lives, we give room for the enemy to make a presence in the way we process the truth about others and ourselves.
We are never able or capable to see, hear, understand others and overall, fully love, because we are constantly judging and pre-judging each other through the filters of prejudice, bigotry, and favoritism.
We treat the people who will and who have loved us unconditionally like dirt. But the one who means to do us harm, we treat them to a five star dinner on gold platters!
Are you entertaining the enemy in your life? Have you made a room in your heart that the enemy has taken his residence? Are you using devices of evil to keep others in bondage or to get into higher positions?
Proverbs 26:21-23(NIV)
21 As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire,
so is a quarrelsome person for kindling strife.
22 The words of a gossip are like choice morsels;
they go down to the inmost parts.
23 Like a coating of silver dross on earthenware
are fervent lips with an evil heart.
James 3:5-8 (NIV)
5 Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.
6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
7 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind,
8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
We have to LOVE people through their mess! I don't mean coddle, pat their back, and tell them that it's right! I mean PRAY FOR THEM! We may not agree with how people live or the choices they may make, but it is not our mission to judge people or put them in man/woman made living hell prisons!
1 John 5:16-17 (NIV)
16 If you see any brother or sister commit a sin that does not lead to death, you should pray and God will give them life. I refer to those whose sin does not lead to death. There is a sin that leads to death. I am not saying that you should pray about that.
17 All wrongdoing is sin, and there is sin that does not lead to death.
Sometimes many Christians think that by talking behind someone's back or belittling another person, you are helping that person to see that they are wrong. But this is not the way that God wants us to treat others, especially our brothers and sisters in Christ! We are to PRAY for our brothers and sisters!
James 3:9-10 (NIV)
9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.
10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.
Why are we choosing to the opposite of what the Word of God says to do? Why are we aiming to tear down each other with our words instead of building up and blessing each other with prayer???
People who say they love God should not have so much hate and evil in them.... they shouldn't.... but they do. These type of people are not lovers of God, because if they truly loved God, they would not do such things to other brothers and sisters in Christ.
1 John 2:15-17 (NIV)
On Not Loving the World
15 Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them.
16 For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world.
17 The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.
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Even though the Word of God tells us not to love this world and the sin of this world, not to do bad things... we still do. The fact is, because we all have done so and will do so at one time in our lives, means WE ALL NEED TO REPENT AND CHANGE from the ways that tear down and destroy our souls. If you believe in God through Christ Jesus, you should know and believe that through His power, we are able to choose a better Way, a more perfect Way, God's Way!
1 John 5:18-20 (NIV)
18 We know that anyone born of God does not continue to sin; the One who was born of God keeps them safe, and the evil one cannot harm them.
19 We know that we are children of God, and that the whole world is under the control of the evil one.
20 We know also that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true. And we are in him who is true by being in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life.
God can and will cleanse us from the impurity of our lips, hearts, and minds. God can and will keep us from sinning. God can and will follow through with His Word. God never fails. We as believers need to take His Word seriously and understand, that our actions have consequences.
Jul 17, 2012
I'm Gonna Stop Putting Chains on my Future
Last night, I put some thing for sell on Ebay. Just some things that I knew I was never going to use. Some glasses, some computer games, some appliances, and some books, specifically wedding books.
At a time in my life I was so sure I was going to marry this one person, I went wedding book and magazine crazy! I bought every bulk lot on Ebay I could find and was going to bookstores buying 5 or 6 mags at time. Well I got rid of the mags a few years ago and sold some of the books... but I kept holding on to about 10 or 12 books in hopes that maybe I'd plan someone's wedding or actually work things out with him.
Well... I haven't planned any weddings... and things did not work out with the ex... but I kept these books. Last night (or rather this morning because I couldn't sleep) I just said let's get rid of these books! So I grabbed all of the books and laid them out... time to let go. So 6 of the books, took the photo, and put them up for sell. No problem.
Then I got the last 5 books and laid them out. I looked at these 5 books. I set them up. I looked again. These last 5 books. I should really let them go. I don't need them. These last 5 books. Somebody else can use them. I'll never need them. These last 5 books. I started to sweat a little... got hot in the room for some reason. I went to the kitchen to get some water. Came back and the books were staring at me. I picked up one of the books and read the title... "Readings for African American Weddings" I told myself again... I won't need this book. I'LL NEVER GET MARRIED.
That's when I heard the bars slam in my head. CLANK, CLANK. I heard the chains rattle on my soul. I stood there looking at those last 5 books getting ready to shrug my shoulders and just give these books away...
And then I heard a voice that wasn't mine, clearly say to my heart... "YES YOU WILL". And for the first time in a long time, I listened. I actually believe it this time and I feel it in my veins. I suddenly realized that I had sentenced myself to a lifetime sentence. I put myself in a mental prison based on my current circumstances.
So I'm learning... the next time I decide what my forever will be... I need to consult with the Management first... He has higher plans for me.
Jul 1, 2012
Chitlins
My life is like a chitlin circut church musical.
Maybe if I sing a song and do a lil' shimmy, things will turn out better in this next act.
But they'll more than likely get worst... especially since I'm riding Tuxedo Junction...
And then the lights go dark.
Center stage. Spotlight On. Me.
I sing. I dance. I act.
I am a Triple Threat!
Through tears, pain, hurt, and confusion.
I fool you all.
Wearing the colorful artists' mask.
You'd never know the black, white, & grey of my soul.
You only see the smile of a minstrel.
Maybe if I sing a song and do a lil' shimmy, things will turn out better in this next act.
But they'll more than likely get worst... especially since I'm riding Tuxedo Junction...
And then the lights go dark.
Center stage. Spotlight On. Me.
I sing. I dance. I act.
I am a Triple Threat!
Through tears, pain, hurt, and confusion.
I fool you all.
Wearing the colorful artists' mask.
You'd never know the black, white, & grey of my soul.
You only see the smile of a minstrel.
Jun 30, 2012
I'm Almost 30. Damn.
I try not to pity myself... or feel down and depressed. I try I really do.
I try to think on higher things, heavenly things that are more than myself.
But I do get distracted sometimes and I start to think about me. I get stuck on my problems and start focusing on a way to fix it.
Focus, Focus, Focus.
And then I get frustrated. I get busted and disgusted because I can't figure it out... I can't immediately fix the problems in my life like I want.
Why! Why! Why!
Then I cry. Or I sit and look at the ceiling. Wondering.
Or really, I'm Wandering.
Still trying to find a way. A way to make it.
The reality is... I don't know. Even through this mighty sense of self of who I am and who I want to be and what I want to leave behind. Presently...
I'm just here.
Working my butt off for the paycheck to payback the pay I got to make the paycheck in a field I didn't even go to school for but I should be grateful I even have a job right?
Shit.
I don't feel bad about being angry. I did everything right.
Didn't get pregnant... Didn't do drugs. Rarely drank (and got drunk). Cursing? Heck No! Went straight into college after high school and yeah, I graduated too!
But where does that leave you?
In debt, single, no kids, lacking the experience of smoking marijuana because they do random drug tests at your job.
*sigh*
I'm almost 30.
I try to think on higher things, heavenly things that are more than myself.
But I do get distracted sometimes and I start to think about me. I get stuck on my problems and start focusing on a way to fix it.
Focus, Focus, Focus.
And then I get frustrated. I get busted and disgusted because I can't figure it out... I can't immediately fix the problems in my life like I want.
Why! Why! Why!
Then I cry. Or I sit and look at the ceiling. Wondering.
Or really, I'm Wandering.
Still trying to find a way. A way to make it.
The reality is... I don't know. Even through this mighty sense of self of who I am and who I want to be and what I want to leave behind. Presently...
I'm just here.
Working my butt off for the paycheck to payback the pay I got to make the paycheck in a field I didn't even go to school for but I should be grateful I even have a job right?
Shit.
I don't feel bad about being angry. I did everything right.
Didn't get pregnant... Didn't do drugs. Rarely drank (and got drunk). Cursing? Heck No! Went straight into college after high school and yeah, I graduated too!
But where does that leave you?
In debt, single, no kids, lacking the experience of smoking marijuana because they do random drug tests at your job.
*sigh*
I'm almost 30.
May 17, 2012
Trayvon Martin had to Stand His Ground to Fight for His Life
Trayvon Martin used "Stand Your Ground" Properly; George Zimmerman uses it as an excuse for his negligence, disobedience to the law, and self righteous vigilante attitude.
The medical report still does not give reason as to why Trayvon felt he needed to get physical with Zimmerman. IMO Trayvon was approached by Zimmerman in an intimidating manner, Trayvon saw the gun but didn't see a badge or a uniform, and immediately feared for his life. I really do believe Zimmerman tried to do some type of "citizen's arrest" and did not expect Trayvon to fight back because he had convinced himself that he was going to "save the day". Trayvon was fighting and beating that man to survive.
It's not "Stand Your Ground" if you are stalking the victim, it's not "Stand Your Ground" if you approach the victim and question them, it's not "Stand Your Ground" if the victim is defending themselves from you; It's not "Stand Your Ground" if you realize on your back on the ground that you made a decision to not follow the directions of the law and that you might die for doing so, that's not "Stand Your Ground".
And many of you will use the excuse that the pictures being shown of Trayvon are from when he was 12 and 13. Even so, Trayvon was still a child. He was not astronomically muscular or 7 feet tall as some of you want to put him. (I won't even touch that right now.) Anyone who has ever feared for their life or the life of someone else knows that something inside you rises to do things that are normally above human measure.
Those of you who want to defend Zimmerman and say that he was right to shoot Trayvon. I want you to put your own child or a child that you love in Trayvon's shoes and think if they were in the same situation, from the things you taught them about strangers that approach them, what would you want them to do... Fight back or let the strange person lead them away.
Don't use the law as an excuse for your elitist attitude and "super hero" psychosis. Zimmerman put his self in a situation that he didn't have to be in if he had just listened to law enforcement. If "Stand Your Ground" means you don't have to listen to officials of the goverenment or follow laws in general, then yes, let the anarchy begin in Florida. If "Stand Your Ground" means that I can shoot and kill anyone just because I feel uncomfortable about their presence in my neighborhood, then yes, let the lynchings begin, again, in Florida.
But if "Stand Your Ground" was meant to protect victims from perpetrators, then Trayvon had every right to use this law in his defense. Trayvon was being followed, he was approached, and he feared for his life. So he had to Stand His Ground.
The medical report still does not give reason as to why Trayvon felt he needed to get physical with Zimmerman. IMO Trayvon was approached by Zimmerman in an intimidating manner, Trayvon saw the gun but didn't see a badge or a uniform, and immediately feared for his life. I really do believe Zimmerman tried to do some type of "citizen's arrest" and did not expect Trayvon to fight back because he had convinced himself that he was going to "save the day". Trayvon was fighting and beating that man to survive.
It's not "Stand Your Ground" if you are stalking the victim, it's not "Stand Your Ground" if you approach the victim and question them, it's not "Stand Your Ground" if the victim is defending themselves from you; It's not "Stand Your Ground" if you realize on your back on the ground that you made a decision to not follow the directions of the law and that you might die for doing so, that's not "Stand Your Ground".
And many of you will use the excuse that the pictures being shown of Trayvon are from when he was 12 and 13. Even so, Trayvon was still a child. He was not astronomically muscular or 7 feet tall as some of you want to put him. (I won't even touch that right now.) Anyone who has ever feared for their life or the life of someone else knows that something inside you rises to do things that are normally above human measure.
Those of you who want to defend Zimmerman and say that he was right to shoot Trayvon. I want you to put your own child or a child that you love in Trayvon's shoes and think if they were in the same situation, from the things you taught them about strangers that approach them, what would you want them to do... Fight back or let the strange person lead them away.
Don't use the law as an excuse for your elitist attitude and "super hero" psychosis. Zimmerman put his self in a situation that he didn't have to be in if he had just listened to law enforcement. If "Stand Your Ground" means you don't have to listen to officials of the goverenment or follow laws in general, then yes, let the anarchy begin in Florida. If "Stand Your Ground" means that I can shoot and kill anyone just because I feel uncomfortable about their presence in my neighborhood, then yes, let the lynchings begin, again, in Florida.
But if "Stand Your Ground" was meant to protect victims from perpetrators, then Trayvon had every right to use this law in his defense. Trayvon was being followed, he was approached, and he feared for his life. So he had to Stand His Ground.
Apr 22, 2012
ETYMOLOGY! Symbolism: Why Is It so Important
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| Even without the word "STOP", this red octogan lets you know this signs meaning. |
Let's Talk about Etymology! SYMBOLISM! Why is it so important...
Symbols can mean different things to different people. The purpose of a symbol is to convey a meaning. A great example of this is a "STOP" sign. Even without the word "STOP" on the sign, you recognize the meaning of this symbol by a Red Octogan.Symbols come in different shapes and forms. All symbols invoke some type of reaction from the person who is witnessing the symbol at that time and based on the environment or culture they are in at that time, they will react accordingly. Numerals are symbols for numbers. If we are in a classroom environment and there are numerals written on a blackboard or a piece of paper, we are instantly assured that we are learning mathematics. Our mind then tells us to react accordingly to learn math.
Words can be symbols. The way we arrange words into sentences or phrases can be symbols. The way we say the words: the tone and inflection in our voice, emphasis on certain vowels or consonants, alliteration, enunctiation, and pronunciation; these are all symbols as well. Words as symbols help us to communicate and understand each other. The word "NOW" let's us know that something needs to be done instantly. Based on who says the word or who writes the word and the way the word is said or written, the person recieving or hearing the word will react accordingly.
An example would be a mother instructing their child to take out the garbage.
At first the mother may be calm.
"Please take the garbage out. Thank You."
If the child does do it the first time, the mother may become more agitated and ask again but with more inflection in her voice.
"I thought I told you to take the garbage out. Please take it out." After a second time the child does not take the garbage out, Mom may become angry and use words that are more forceful to convey meaning.
"Take out the garbage NOW!" The child will then take out the garbage. By hearing mother's change in tone and the emphasis on the word "NOW", the child quickly understood the symbolism and meaning behind mother's words. Even when writing this short scenario, the reader can see the change in tone of mother by the use of punctuation or written symbolism to display emotion or emphasis in words.
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| The Rainbow is a symbol that means varying things to different groups of people based on background, religion, & culture. |
Symbols can be born and then symbols can die. What one considers a holy symbol may be considered a pagan symbol to another. And at other times a symbol that was once considered holy can be considered pagan at another time. "Living" symbols can reveal great meaning in people's lives and unveil layers of internal thoughts, religious revelations, and relalities in people. Symbols can also lose their meaning and power over time based on changes in individuals and the culture around them; these symbols then become "dead".
Paul Tillich, a Christian philosopher, said that a symbol always "points beyond itself" to something that is unquantifiable and mysterious. Tillich goes further to say that a symbol has "depth dimension". Symbols are complex and their meanings can evolve as the individual or culture evolves.
When symbols take on a deeper meaning to people, people can make those symbols into idols. Meaning people will give deity to an object (non-living or living) and worship it. People will substitute the symbol itsself for the meaning that it represents, instead of the internalizing the meaning of the symbol and evolving from that knowledge.
Symbols are very important in our world. Human beings find symbolism and meaning in everything in which we associate ourselves. We find our spiritual, physical, and mental meanings in the symbols we make important in our own individual lives and the lives of those who surround us daily. We must always remember that someone else may not have the same feelings or ideas about the symbols we deem to be important, and that it is okay. We are all different. We all come from different backgrounds and cultures. We all have different ideas about the Higher Power. But we must remember that we are all human and that even in our being different we all have the same desires and needs. Let us all have the same symbolism when we see each other... and that is to LOVE.
Apr 16, 2012
Endure Til the End (Freestyle Poem)
It's 2:41 am right now. And I'm thinking.
Thinking about the world. Thinking about America. Thinking about the people. My people. Black people.
Why should "they" care about "us"?
Do "we" even care enough about "us"?
Will we continue the fight?
Arrested. Charged. Not yet convicted.
Justice has not yet been served... yet I hear a lesser roar from the crowds.
I don't feel that heat, that electricity that we were pumping through the circuits of America just a week ago...
What happened?
Have we been "appeased"?
Have our protests been "justified" now and we can all go back home to sit on our couches to wait?
Or will we continue to stand...
Stand for Trayvon. Stand with the South Side of Chicago. Stand with Black Boys and Black Men. Stand with Black Girls and Black Women.
Will we keep our Black fists balled tight and feet planted on the ground...
What shall we do?
No Justice. No Peace.
No peace without justice.
I wonder. I hope.
We can... We will...
Endure.
Thinking about the world. Thinking about America. Thinking about the people. My people. Black people.
Why should "they" care about "us"?
Do "we" even care enough about "us"?
Will we continue the fight?
Arrested. Charged. Not yet convicted.
Justice has not yet been served... yet I hear a lesser roar from the crowds.
I don't feel that heat, that electricity that we were pumping through the circuits of America just a week ago...
What happened?
Have we been "appeased"?
Have our protests been "justified" now and we can all go back home to sit on our couches to wait?
Or will we continue to stand...
Stand for Trayvon. Stand with the South Side of Chicago. Stand with Black Boys and Black Men. Stand with Black Girls and Black Women.
Will we keep our Black fists balled tight and feet planted on the ground...
What shall we do?
No Justice. No Peace.
No peace without justice.
I wonder. I hope.
We can... We will...
Endure.
Mar 30, 2012
Continue to Love with the Love of God
I've come to learn that finding that someone to be able to share your life with is truly a gift from God that He has ordained and blessed. I find it hard to understand how people can take their spouses for granted especially when we know how hard it is to find true unconditional love in other people these days. It should behoove you even more not to become a statistic and want to love your partner more.
I watched my mother love my father, through sickness, through health, through high pay checks, through unemployment and disability, and through death. And til this day, she never stopped loving him. So I just don't understand... when you do find that someone... that thin opportunity of time that God allows you to see and be with your wife or your husband... why do you spend that little bit of time treating them like crap?
It hurts my heart to see that... realizing that people still don't understand what REAL love is; realizing that people still are not able to translate the feelings they may have in their heart into thoughtful and caring actions. When I see couples, I want to be inspired. I still want to believe that a pure love can exist between a husband and wife when I see them together. I want to know that God is still working in our marriages when I see man and woman together, loving together. I still have hope.
Husbands and wives, God put you together for a reason and the Three of you have some work to do. Continue to love with the love of God.
I watched my mother love my father, through sickness, through health, through high pay checks, through unemployment and disability, and through death. And til this day, she never stopped loving him. So I just don't understand... when you do find that someone... that thin opportunity of time that God allows you to see and be with your wife or your husband... why do you spend that little bit of time treating them like crap?
It hurts my heart to see that... realizing that people still don't understand what REAL love is; realizing that people still are not able to translate the feelings they may have in their heart into thoughtful and caring actions. When I see couples, I want to be inspired. I still want to believe that a pure love can exist between a husband and wife when I see them together. I want to know that God is still working in our marriages when I see man and woman together, loving together. I still have hope.
Husbands and wives, God put you together for a reason and the Three of you have some work to do. Continue to love with the love of God.
Mar 23, 2012
Gated Communities of the Mind: Trayvon Martin Murdered by Superiority & Hate
I have not been able to fully express my feelings and thoughts on the murder of Trayvon Martin until today. For the past 2 weeks I have been unable to sleep on a normal schedule. Staying up to the dawn of the morning and finally getting a few hours of sleep in the afternoon until I have to wake up for work.
My soul is not at peace right now. If it is the year of 2012, the only things to remind of that is the modern technology of my computer, TV, and cell phone in my home right now; anything else would have told me that this was still 1952 and that it was still "okay" to lynch black men and women "Down South".
Until it happens, you can't understand it.... racism that is. Until it happens, you don't realize it exists. You want to feel like your skin color or any one's skin color is attributing factor to the treatment they may receive... but feelings aren't reality. The fact is, everyday, I'm black. Everyday my skin never changes color and when people look at me they make judgements upon me because of the way I look, the way I'm dressed, the way I talk, the way I move, the way I carry myself.
People constantly make judgements on appearance, that's the way we're wired. Our first sense is eyesight. It triggers taste, smell, touch, and emotional responses. So when people look at me, when people look at you, when George Zimmerman looked at Trayvon, something triggers inside of them... emotionally. And for George Zimmerman... that was fear and hate.
Gated communities. Gated communities are no safer than a prison when the people inside of them are just as hateful, fearful, and vigilante as a criminal. People in these types of communities think they are safer inside of them because they are guarded from the "outsiders". These types of communities promote racial and economic "homogeneity" meaning if you "don't look like us or have money like us" we don't except you. So when something or someone breaks that ideal it instills panic, fear, a state of heightened alert, as well as the idea of superiority over whatever, or in this case, whomever would be defector from the false normalcy within the gates.
Gated communities are nothing but reincarnations of the segregated communities of the Jim Crow era; White folks on this side of town... Black folks & Others on the other side. And don't be a Black man or boy on the wrong side of town, at the wrong time of day, otherwise you'll be questioned, and if you didn't answer the question right or had proof you were "allowed" to be on the "white" side... consider yourself guilty... trial by hanging.
So this is what they did to our baby, our future, our beautiful young man Trayvon Martin.
Zimmerman lynched him, he murdered Trayvon.
Riled up by the fear, by the anger, by the superiority he felt in the gated community of his mind, combined with a 9mm gun.
He MURDERED Trayvon Martin.
He thought Trayvon was burglar, but walking down a side walk in a gated community is not a crime. He says it was self defense, but being scared to answer the 310 lbs. man in front of you asking you questions isn't assault. He thinks it wasn't murder, but Trayvon Martin screaming for help tells me that it was.
The bottom line is Trayvon Martin is dead. A death not fit for anyone, but we should not let his death be in vain. Let's change the laws. Let's open our minds. Let's fight for justice. Arrest George Zimmerman.
My soul is not at peace right now. If it is the year of 2012, the only things to remind of that is the modern technology of my computer, TV, and cell phone in my home right now; anything else would have told me that this was still 1952 and that it was still "okay" to lynch black men and women "Down South".
Until it happens, you can't understand it.... racism that is. Until it happens, you don't realize it exists. You want to feel like your skin color or any one's skin color is attributing factor to the treatment they may receive... but feelings aren't reality. The fact is, everyday, I'm black. Everyday my skin never changes color and when people look at me they make judgements upon me because of the way I look, the way I'm dressed, the way I talk, the way I move, the way I carry myself.
People constantly make judgements on appearance, that's the way we're wired. Our first sense is eyesight. It triggers taste, smell, touch, and emotional responses. So when people look at me, when people look at you, when George Zimmerman looked at Trayvon, something triggers inside of them... emotionally. And for George Zimmerman... that was fear and hate.
Gated communities. Gated communities are no safer than a prison when the people inside of them are just as hateful, fearful, and vigilante as a criminal. People in these types of communities think they are safer inside of them because they are guarded from the "outsiders". These types of communities promote racial and economic "homogeneity" meaning if you "don't look like us or have money like us" we don't except you. So when something or someone breaks that ideal it instills panic, fear, a state of heightened alert, as well as the idea of superiority over whatever, or in this case, whomever would be defector from the false normalcy within the gates.
Gated communities are nothing but reincarnations of the segregated communities of the Jim Crow era; White folks on this side of town... Black folks & Others on the other side. And don't be a Black man or boy on the wrong side of town, at the wrong time of day, otherwise you'll be questioned, and if you didn't answer the question right or had proof you were "allowed" to be on the "white" side... consider yourself guilty... trial by hanging.
So this is what they did to our baby, our future, our beautiful young man Trayvon Martin.
Zimmerman lynched him, he murdered Trayvon.
Riled up by the fear, by the anger, by the superiority he felt in the gated community of his mind, combined with a 9mm gun.
He MURDERED Trayvon Martin.
He thought Trayvon was burglar, but walking down a side walk in a gated community is not a crime. He says it was self defense, but being scared to answer the 310 lbs. man in front of you asking you questions isn't assault. He thinks it wasn't murder, but Trayvon Martin screaming for help tells me that it was.
The bottom line is Trayvon Martin is dead. A death not fit for anyone, but we should not let his death be in vain. Let's change the laws. Let's open our minds. Let's fight for justice. Arrest George Zimmerman.
Mar 17, 2012
Are we "being" the church or just "having" church?
One word can change the meaning of your purpose. There is a difference between "having" and "being". Are we the church or are we just having church?
I think that is one of our biggest issues to overcome as the Christian church of the present time, we are just stepping into acting roles. What we perceive to be worship is has been mutated an opportunity to dress up and perform for other people. We glorify ourselves more than God. We may lift up our hands, but inwardly our hearts and minds are not focused on Jesus Christ. We come to church service expecting good music, a moment to cut a step, an exciting uplifting word, but all the while we rarely encounter God. We're "having" this church, but we are ineffective! We lack power as one body! We wonder why there is still sickness and demonic possession in the church, but we just "had" church... everything should be okay now, right?
Are we just coming to engage in the social/corporate aspect of the church culture or are we active participants in the learning, teaching, work, and service of Body of Christ inside and outside of the church building?
For me, the church is failing when it comes to teaching people to go out and become disciples of Christ through prayer, evangelism, service. Instead we've been promoting what sounds like, feels like, and looks like church: how to dress, how to act, how to "shout", when to clap, when to play that certain note on the organ, when to be quiet, how to speak in tongues (yeah I said it), how to look like your "having" church. There's so much more to the worship lifestyle experience, yet we minimalize it to one day of the week for a few hours and call that church.
I think that is one of our biggest issues to overcome as the Christian church of the present time, we are just stepping into acting roles. What we perceive to be worship is has been mutated an opportunity to dress up and perform for other people. We glorify ourselves more than God. We may lift up our hands, but inwardly our hearts and minds are not focused on Jesus Christ. We come to church service expecting good music, a moment to cut a step, an exciting uplifting word, but all the while we rarely encounter God. We're "having" this church, but we are ineffective! We lack power as one body! We wonder why there is still sickness and demonic possession in the church, but we just "had" church... everything should be okay now, right?
Are we just coming to engage in the social/corporate aspect of the church culture or are we active participants in the learning, teaching, work, and service of Body of Christ inside and outside of the church building?
For me, the church is failing when it comes to teaching people to go out and become disciples of Christ through prayer, evangelism, service. Instead we've been promoting what sounds like, feels like, and looks like church: how to dress, how to act, how to "shout", when to clap, when to play that certain note on the organ, when to be quiet, how to speak in tongues (yeah I said it), how to look like your "having" church. There's so much more to the worship lifestyle experience, yet we minimalize it to one day of the week for a few hours and call that church.
Feb 27, 2012
As Long As You Put God First, YOU WILL ALWAYS WIN!
SMILE!!! :)
Phillipians 4 (KJV)
4Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice.
5Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.
6Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let ...your requests be made known unto God.
7And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
8Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
9Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.
10But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly, that now at the last your care of me hath flourished again; wherein ye were also careful, but ye lacked opportunity.
11Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
12I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.
13I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
God does not want us to become preoccupied and stressed out with the problems, difficulties, and trials we may have in this life. It is the immediate reaction of our flesh to want to take on the burdens of life and put them upon ourselves. But God does not desire us to God wants us to put ALL of our trust in Him and Him only!
Rejoice in the Lord right now for your victory! It may look like a dim situation, but if you put God ahead of your trial, you can't lose! If God be for us, who can be against us? (Rom.8:31) My God can do anything but fail! (Deut.31:6,8) We are MORE than conquerors! Nothing, NOTHING can seperate us from the love of God! (Rom.8:36-39).
Everything can go wrong around us, but isn't it good to know that we serve a God who gives us peace, that gives us the ability to endure through all of the struggles we may encounter, and in the end we ALWAYS come out VICTORIOUS! We can do ALL things... not just a few things, but ALL things through Christ who gives us the strength to them! God wants you to know that if you are with Him, you are a SUCCESS! You are always on the WINNING SIDE! Keep the faith, Stay the course, and you will finish the race!
Feb 25, 2012
My Opinion: The Role of Husbands and Wives, Male & Female according to the Bible
The Role of Husbands and Wives, Male & Female according to the Bible
Eph.5
*25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;*
26That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
*28So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.*
*29For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:*
30For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
As a wife I should be able to put trust in my husband as the authority figure of our household, not because I am weaker, but because the Bible instructs me to yield to his authority as the leader of our family.
This does not mean that the wife has no say- so in the decisions of the household, because in Eph. 5:21, the Bible instructs both husband and wife to submit to each other in the fear of the Lord. Rather, we both take into consideration each others opinions, feelings, and thoughts. Even when one is not in the physical presence of the other, any decision that is made that would affect the family, that spouse should consider and if possible, at all times consult with the other spouse.
The final decision though, should be made by the husband, and hopefully that husband is a Godly man so all his decisions should be prayfully considered, reassured and backed up by the Word of God. In doing so we both as husband and wife can be on one accord as one flesh.
The problem we are having with our families in today's society day is that frequently we see that there is no husband-wife dynamic present in the home. It is even more prevalent that there is no male figure in the home at all, so unfortunately the woman has had to stand in the place as mother/protector/breadwinner/authority figure. So when this has happened now for generations, we have a culture of masculinized women and feminized men. Girls are taught to be strong, taught that they don't need a man at all. Boys are taught to be sensitive to their feelings, and as long as they look good, are entertaining, or can use their physical prowess in some type of way, they'll always be loved and excepted. We have socialized ourselves to think of each other in topsy turvy roles of what is exceptable and acceptable for the male and female.
And I know time changes, culture changes, society changes... but the Word of God never changes. We've got to get back to who God really wants us to be as individuals and as Men and Woman.
Feb 15, 2012
PCOS: The Other Reason I Went Natural, Part 1
This is a blog entry is from my blog at Nappturality.com. I wanted to post it here hoping that women would be encouraged or at least feel a connection between my journey with PCOS and their own. PCOS is not a final sentence to your health but a wake up call to treat yourself like the queen you really are!
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Earlier I wrote about the spiritual and societal reasons for my going natural. Now I want to tell you all the main reason I had to go natural; themedical reasons. I have a condition called Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). It is the most common androgen (hormone) excess condition affecting 5-10% of all women, but it is inconsistantly diagnosed and mainly not diagnosed at all. It causes insulin resistance (prediabeties) and in some cases if it is not treated early enough can lead to cancer. For about 20 years now, I've been dealing with the symptoms of this condition. For the last 3 years I've known I had PCOS, but it wasn't until this year I found a great doctor who could properly diagnose me with the condition. I just wanted to share what I've been through. This may be something you've gone through as well. You may not have PCOS but you may have another medical condition. If anything comes from me writing this, it would be that you get informed about your symptoms, go to your doctor, ask questions, and get informed about your body. DON'T WAIT! Go as soon as you can! Mammogram, blood tests, Pap smear...whatever...DON'T DELAY YOUR HEALTH!!! You're worth it!
For years I have had to deal with insecurities about my body and the way that I looked. I have always felt awkward, out of place, and not comfortable in my skin. During adolescence I had problems with the whole puberty thing. At the age of 8, I was wearing a C cup, experiencing the pains of acne, and was gaining weight around my belly. By age 9, I was 115 lbs. Average 9 year olds are half that weight. Because I was developing so fast and faster than my friends I had to endure positive and negative attention. Boys were curious about my "boobies". Girls would ask me if I stuffed my bra and pass notes about me during class.
My parents would take me to doctors where they would do lengthy blood tests, prodding me, and pushing hard on my gut to see what was wrong. They would ask me uncomfortable questions about my sexual history which was nonexistant because I was only 10 (and even though this is necessary in some cases, a good doctor would see that my hymen was still in tact).
After my father died suddenly at age 11, I became angry and frustrated with the medical profession in general. I didn't want to go to another appointment if I didn't have to and if my mother made an appointment I would find a way to get plans changed. That didn't last long and when my period still had not started by 13, my mother got worried and started taking me by force to another pediatrician, one who was even worse than the first.
They blamed my non existent period on late blooming, stress, and high blood pressure. Which they said happens to alot of kids going into middle school and who face trauma. But seriously, looking back how many 12 yr olds have high blood pressure?
It came to point when the doctors just gave up on me and decided I was just a "fat" kid and I ate too much. So they sent me to a nutritionist. I thought my prayers had been answered and I would finally have an amazing diet that would help me lose weight. When I sat down in front of the nutritionist, she looked at me like I was some strange animal. She asked me a few questions about my diet and then measured my belly.
"You need to lose weight."
My eyes got big and my mouth opened wide. Maybe she's just kidding...no she isn't kidding. Seriously, is this who you send me to a nutritionist who states the obvious?
Then she asks, "Well how much weight do you hope to lose?"
"Well in hopes, 50 lbs." I replied.
"50 lbs! Well let's not go crazy here!" She laughed. Did this bitch just laugh in my face? Isn't this her job? To help me lose weight? And she laughs? I clocked out at that moment anything said after that point was not heard and I didn't care anymore. She handed me a print out about food that didn't offer any information and another about a medical study being offered for fat girls my age.
I soon realized that if I wanted to ever be done with going to doctor's offices I would have to lie and say I felt "better". So I did. I didn't really, but they believed me. So I joined the drill team in middle school. Made the cheerleading squad in high school. I was starting to lose a little weight, but not what I should have. The belly was still there. Everything else was toned...legs, arms, back, but that belly never would go away.
And then one day in tenth grade, I'll never forget it, a classmate, Quincy (he will be forever hated for doing this) pointed out a hair growing from my neck. And he kept pointing and pointing...everyday at this one hair. But a few weeks later came more hairs and I was beginning to get nervous. What the hell was happening?!?! Was I turning into a man?!!! No I wasn't but my God this isn't right! So I asked my mother and she said it's hereditary. I had to think...my aunt has a full mustache...my mom has to pluck a few hairs now and then. It must be hereditary. It'll be okay.
So for years, I worried about the hair. There was hair everywhere. Hair on my chin, on my legs, on the bottom of my belly. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME GOD? These were supposed to be the happiest years of my life as a teen and I was worried about hair removal! Dances, cheerleading, prom they all began with 2 hours of prior preparation the first hour being shaving or chemical removal of hair.
When it was time to go off to college, I had gotten my hair be gone routine down pact. It became a part of my life and I had come to accept it. People would ask me why I had all this hair and I would just reply that it was hereditary. It seemed to be the only answer that fit and made sense. People seemed to be okay with it as well. If I was going to have to go through life with this, I should be able to accept it and so will others.
After college, I reentered reality. In school I had made up this identity of a strong willed, confident, do anything young woman. Coming back home I realized how weak of a person I was when it came to accepting what I had to look at in the mirror. Throughout my childhood I had endured verbal abuse about my body, from it's size, skin color, hair length, anything and everything. And I began to believe those things. So much so when, I wasn't being complimented by others, I stopped looking in the mirror. I stopped caring about what was on the outside because on the inside I felt like crap. Depression hit (and still hits) hard. But I couldn't understand why. At that time in my life, I should have been happy! I just had graduated from college! I should be trying to take over the world! But instead I was at home in the evening watching wheel of fortune in bed. I felt alone.
To be continued...
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PCOS: The Other Reason I Went Natural, Part 1
Earlier I wrote about the spiritual and societal reasons for my going natural. Now I want to tell you all the main reason I had to go natural; themedical reasons. I have a condition called Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). It is the most common androgen (hormone) excess condition affecting 5-10% of all women, but it is inconsistantly diagnosed and mainly not diagnosed at all. It causes insulin resistance (prediabeties) and in some cases if it is not treated early enough can lead to cancer. For about 20 years now, I've been dealing with the symptoms of this condition. For the last 3 years I've known I had PCOS, but it wasn't until this year I found a great doctor who could properly diagnose me with the condition. I just wanted to share what I've been through. This may be something you've gone through as well. You may not have PCOS but you may have another medical condition. If anything comes from me writing this, it would be that you get informed about your symptoms, go to your doctor, ask questions, and get informed about your body. DON'T WAIT! Go as soon as you can! Mammogram, blood tests, Pap smear...whatever...DON'T DELAY YOUR HEALTH!!! You're worth it!
Just a warning, this may be graphic at some points (not really but I talk about puberty and puberty isn't pretty).
For years I have had to deal with insecurities about my body and the way that I looked. I have always felt awkward, out of place, and not comfortable in my skin. During adolescence I had problems with the whole puberty thing. At the age of 8, I was wearing a C cup, experiencing the pains of acne, and was gaining weight around my belly. By age 9, I was 115 lbs. Average 9 year olds are half that weight. Because I was developing so fast and faster than my friends I had to endure positive and negative attention. Boys were curious about my "boobies". Girls would ask me if I stuffed my bra and pass notes about me during class.
My parents would take me to doctors where they would do lengthy blood tests, prodding me, and pushing hard on my gut to see what was wrong. They would ask me uncomfortable questions about my sexual history which was nonexistant because I was only 10 (and even though this is necessary in some cases, a good doctor would see that my hymen was still in tact).
After my father died suddenly at age 11, I became angry and frustrated with the medical profession in general. I didn't want to go to another appointment if I didn't have to and if my mother made an appointment I would find a way to get plans changed. That didn't last long and when my period still had not started by 13, my mother got worried and started taking me by force to another pediatrician, one who was even worse than the first.
They blamed my non existent period on late blooming, stress, and high blood pressure. Which they said happens to alot of kids going into middle school and who face trauma. But seriously, looking back how many 12 yr olds have high blood pressure?
It came to point when the doctors just gave up on me and decided I was just a "fat" kid and I ate too much. So they sent me to a nutritionist. I thought my prayers had been answered and I would finally have an amazing diet that would help me lose weight. When I sat down in front of the nutritionist, she looked at me like I was some strange animal. She asked me a few questions about my diet and then measured my belly.
"You need to lose weight."
My eyes got big and my mouth opened wide. Maybe she's just kidding...no she isn't kidding. Seriously, is this who you send me to a nutritionist who states the obvious?
Then she asks, "Well how much weight do you hope to lose?"
"Well in hopes, 50 lbs." I replied.
"50 lbs! Well let's not go crazy here!" She laughed. Did this bitch just laugh in my face? Isn't this her job? To help me lose weight? And she laughs? I clocked out at that moment anything said after that point was not heard and I didn't care anymore. She handed me a print out about food that didn't offer any information and another about a medical study being offered for fat girls my age.
I soon realized that if I wanted to ever be done with going to doctor's offices I would have to lie and say I felt "better". So I did. I didn't really, but they believed me. So I joined the drill team in middle school. Made the cheerleading squad in high school. I was starting to lose a little weight, but not what I should have. The belly was still there. Everything else was toned...legs, arms, back, but that belly never would go away.
And then one day in tenth grade, I'll never forget it, a classmate, Quincy (he will be forever hated for doing this) pointed out a hair growing from my neck. And he kept pointing and pointing...everyday at this one hair. But a few weeks later came more hairs and I was beginning to get nervous. What the hell was happening?!?! Was I turning into a man?!!! No I wasn't but my God this isn't right! So I asked my mother and she said it's hereditary. I had to think...my aunt has a full mustache...my mom has to pluck a few hairs now and then. It must be hereditary. It'll be okay.
So for years, I worried about the hair. There was hair everywhere. Hair on my chin, on my legs, on the bottom of my belly. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME GOD? These were supposed to be the happiest years of my life as a teen and I was worried about hair removal! Dances, cheerleading, prom they all began with 2 hours of prior preparation the first hour being shaving or chemical removal of hair.
When it was time to go off to college, I had gotten my hair be gone routine down pact. It became a part of my life and I had come to accept it. People would ask me why I had all this hair and I would just reply that it was hereditary. It seemed to be the only answer that fit and made sense. People seemed to be okay with it as well. If I was going to have to go through life with this, I should be able to accept it and so will others.
After college, I reentered reality. In school I had made up this identity of a strong willed, confident, do anything young woman. Coming back home I realized how weak of a person I was when it came to accepting what I had to look at in the mirror. Throughout my childhood I had endured verbal abuse about my body, from it's size, skin color, hair length, anything and everything. And I began to believe those things. So much so when, I wasn't being complimented by others, I stopped looking in the mirror. I stopped caring about what was on the outside because on the inside I felt like crap. Depression hit (and still hits) hard. But I couldn't understand why. At that time in my life, I should have been happy! I just had graduated from college! I should be trying to take over the world! But instead I was at home in the evening watching wheel of fortune in bed. I felt alone.
To be continued...
Feb 14, 2012
I have PCOS
Another reason for my blog was to share my experiences as a woman with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome or PCOS. Finding out that I had this condition has given me the opportunity to look over my life and change things about my lifestyle that have been hindering me. Even though PCOS is a daily battle, it never wins, I am the one with the victory! So if you are a woman with PCOS reading this, I encourage you not to let this condition overtake your mind. You can do any and all things through Christ who strengthens you! Stay tuned for more...
10 Common Natural Hair Habits You Should Stop Now
10 Common Natural Hair Habits You Should Stop Now
I've been guilty of doing a few of these no-no's. The major one of being not loving my own curls. It took me about 2 years to realize that my hair was just that: my hair. No one else's and no one else's hair was my hair. So I had to learn how to accept myself the way I came into this world: naked and without a wrapper! I love being Natural!!!
I've been guilty of doing a few of these no-no's. The major one of being not loving my own curls. It took me about 2 years to realize that my hair was just that: my hair. No one else's and no one else's hair was my hair. So I had to learn how to accept myself the way I came into this world: naked and without a wrapper! I love being Natural!!!
Feb 6, 2012
Keep Writing...
I'm trying to get better at this blogging thing. As very literary, thoughtful, creative person, I daily have thousands of ideas that zoom around my mind. It's important that anyone like me write these types of things down. You never know, something you write may be the very stuff of literary genius... or whatever is considered genius these days.
Jan 23, 2012
Article: "Is It Because I'm Getting Old or is Music Just Really Bad These Days?"
Article: "Is It Because I'm Getting Old or is Music Just Really Bad These Days?"
I have to agree with this article. Urban popular music just sucks: FLAT OUT. The lyrics have no meaning. Being that music and the arts are so central to the Black experience in America, no wonder the blac culture lacks the emphasis, power, and influence that began in the civil rights and Black power movements of the 1950s, 60s, and 70s. We no longer sing or speak of love, joy, or even pain. The Black experience has been dumbed down to that of cadillacs, weed, sex, and money.
I have to agree with this article. Urban popular music just sucks: FLAT OUT. The lyrics have no meaning. Being that music and the arts are so central to the Black experience in America, no wonder the blac culture lacks the emphasis, power, and influence that began in the civil rights and Black power movements of the 1950s, 60s, and 70s. We no longer sing or speak of love, joy, or even pain. The Black experience has been dumbed down to that of cadillacs, weed, sex, and money.
Jan 19, 2012
Article: "Are You a Socially Awkward Black Girl?"
Here's an article of one Black woman's personal account of being a socially awkward. I can totally relate. I've always felt awkard in social situations. Even though I could have been considered "popular" in high school, I never understood exactly how that worked out. I don't know if my goofy jokes or saracastic revelations that make people attracted to me or not. I'm no dimepiece (not in my eyes I'm not)... but I am cute... like a teddy bear... maybe that's why people want to hug me... I really don't appreciate that though... that's really an uncomfortable.
Touching... not my thing. Talking to men face to face... not adept. Telling funny stories where people actually laugh... hit and miss.
Feeling accepted everywhere I go... impossible.
I'm too awkward. But that's okay. I like me.
Jan 18, 2012
Flowers at my Door
So last night when I arrived home from work, there was a package at my doorstep.... flowers!
Hmmm... who could those have come from?
First thought... my mom. She does sweet things like that.
But why is the package open?
I'm a lil' scurred...
Then I read the address... Apt. A? I live in B. Oh but the A is scratched out.
My mom must've put the wrong apartment...
Let me read the note here: "Your secret admirer neighbor would like to have dinner/lunch and conversation with you."
Oh wow!
Let's look at these things.... I'll be surprised if they're my favorite roses...
Hmmm... who could those have come from?
First thought... my mom. She does sweet things like that.
But why is the package open?
I'm a lil' scurred...
Then I read the address... Apt. A? I live in B. Oh but the A is scratched out.
My mom must've put the wrong apartment...
Let me read the note here: "Your secret admirer neighbor would like to have dinner/lunch and conversation with you."
Oh wow!
Let's look at these things.... I'll be surprised if they're my favorite roses...
OMG! They are!
How did he know????
Should I be flattered?
I know I feel flustered...
Ack! He wants me to get back with him with an answer!
WHAT DO I DO!!!!
Jan 17, 2012
"Sh*T Natural Hair Girls Say"... Yeah I can relate...
Yeah I've said quite a few of these things... I haven't stood in front of the mirror doing Bone Thugs N' Harmony though.... I'm more of a Diana Ross fan in my blow out...
Documentary: "Is She Crazy?: The Preacher Lady of Riverdale, GA"
I watched this and was just amazed about the tenacity of this Christian woman. Being a Christian myself I understand the call of missionary work, but truthfully, I've always been fearful of how I would survive without working a full time job. By watching this I understand now that it takes a spirit such as her to give up everything and follow Christ. To do the work of the ministry and do it full time, is an honor. I applaud her. God Bless her and her ministry.
Jan 16, 2012
What has become of the Dream that was Dreamed?
A Dream Deferred
by Langston Hughes
What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?
When I think about Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. I think about his willingness and the willingness of a generation to sacrifice their wants and their desires as young people for the greater good of their communities and peers.
It really makes me reflect upon my life as a young woman and those of my peers, how willingly would we fight for something we believed in, knowing that in the end, we may never physically see the fruits of our labor.
Being young, having youth, are we willing to give up the pleasures of our own lives in order to see others have access to the American dream: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness? How many of us would be willing to be beaten, willing to be accosted, willing to die just to know that your children wouldn't have to experience the same injustices that we have in our lifetime?
How many times have we complained about the current atmosphere of our society, of businesses, of the media, of our music, our culture, our churches, our communities, our families, and even ourselves, yet we have done nothing. We haven't written letters, haven't even sent an email. Haven't even gotten the nerve up to complain to a manager about bad service. But somehow we expect a change.... No one knows what you need, want, or desire unless you tell them. Closed mouths don't get fed...
How do we expect a change to come when we as everyday citizens don't even realize that we have to be apart of that change? Isn't it selfish of us to live in this life daily, with the resources we have and not use them to somehow better not only our lives, but the lives of others?
Is it too much to ask of us to take a moment and stop thinking about brand new shoes and million dollar basketball contracts to think more about the welfare of those poorer than us or be a voice for the disenfranchised?
What has a dream that was dreamed come to be? Yes, we walk side by side, black, white, red, brown, yellow, but we don't walk together. Our voices? We keep them low, whispering behind the safety of our homes, in our separate communities. We're still divided, by class and social status, clothes and cars. The Haves and the Have Nots.
What has the dream that was dreamed come to be? The dream was melodically spoken, demonstrated through the bravery of those who saw a future through the seperate parts they played into a beautiful symphony called Our Civil Rights. We honor a man who was instrument for change, but to which we have failed to join in with his orchestra. So the music stands at a pause... waiting for the next muscians of this generation to begin marching to the rhythm... of the beat.... of Freedom.
"Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man can't ride you unless your back is bent."
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Knights Don't Live in Ohio
Sometimes I wonder if romantic love is real. Even when the romance sparks, it seems to be a dream at that moment. Looking into someone else’s eyes and actually feeling some type of emotion, it seems like a foreign notion to me. I believe that I’d probably laugh or start to feel out of place and awkward; but that’s not odd, not odd for me.
I’m very uncomfortable when it comes to romance. This concept of “falling” in love, it just seems like such of a lie. Have I loved men. Yes. Have a “fallen” for them… no. Well, maybe one… but I almost went to jail over that one. But it wasn’t my fault. I mean I was there, but I didn’t do it… I watched… which made me a co-conspirator…. But I didn’t do the crime… who knew throwing bad eggs at a car was a felony?
Bet he’ll never cheat again…
Anyway, back to this love thing. I try not to get emotional about it, but I do sit sometimes and just wonder, will I ever be loved back the way that I want to give love. Do I even deserve love or to be in a relationship? Well I KNOW the answer is yes, but I don’t feel the same affirmation. Everyone deserves to be loved. To be doted over by someone. Someone who looks at them and always sees a speck of beauty no matter how ugly the situation. I have yet to experience that in my life.
I’m almost 30 and I’ve never been loved the way I needed to be loved by a man. It makes me want to cry. Seriously, I’m tearing up… but then I don’t know whether to be angry or confused about this.
I’ve thought about changing my location. Maybe the men here in this part of the United States just aren’t breathing “marriage” air. Maybe if I moved Down South I’d attract some big, tall, chocolate, deep voiced man, who’s ready to settle down and start a family… Probably not.
How much perfume, makeup, and high heels do you have to put on before you can even get a “Hello”? Men don’t know how to talk to women anymore. They don’t know how to ask you to dance. Everyone dances in groups… seriously?!? Are we in grade school at an after school dance??? Ugh!
Flirting comes easy for me, but there’s that delicate line between flirting and sluttiness (if that’s a word). Touch that shoulder a little too much, smile the “right” way, and say that dirty joke you always say, and you’ve left “I’d like to date this girl” mode to “I’d like to bang this girl and never call her again” mode in his mind in a matter of seconds. (Don’t walk down that road! It’s a very itchy road… I hear!!!)
Romance, romantic love… It’s a Fairy Tale. It’s just stories that they give us as children to aspire to have as adults… but they never teach us to be romantic. In the stories, the knight in shining armor comes along to save the princess, they kiss and they live happily ever after. I ain’t never kissed nobody and lived happily ever after that (more horny ever after… but not happily).
To sum it up, it’s not easy to be single in a world that glorifies romance, couples, and marriage. Now these are all great things, things I would love to have with someone else one day, but the real story is that for someone like me, it just feels unattainable. Like it will never happen, or if it does, it’ll be a long while before anyone asks me to walk down an aisle and jump a broom with them.
Until then, I’m going to enjoy my life as it flows. What else is there? Knights don’t live in Ohio.
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