Jan 2, 2017

Let Serena Live Please!

Been holding back on this but...

Why are black men so butthurt over Serena marrying a white man? Where was all this outrage when these black male athletes and entertainers married and flaunted and paraded their white wives in front us black women? And we just had to accept it.

It just seems to me that black men believe that black women should only belong to them and them only. That there are no other ethnicities of the male human species in the world that can value our minds, souls, and bodies without believing that they own us.

Why does society feel the need to limit Black women? Why do we have to feel like if we're not with a Black man that we're not worthy of love or being treated with respect?

And this is not speaking against Black men at all. I come from a Black man. My family is full of strong, Godly Black kings. They would love for me to marry a good Black man, but they would be damned if I chose to marry a Black man who didn't treat me right over a man of another ethnicity who did.

Black men who have complaints about Serena, can save the crocodile tears. You really never cared about Serena. If you did, you would talk about the greatness of her career.  But all you see is a sex symbol you lust after and you're just upset that your dick gets soft  when you close your eyes cause no longer see yourself in bed with her, but that white man she chose.

Nov 26, 2016

Black Americans Learning Black History is Healing Matter

So this was a comment I left on a video. It's long but this is from the heart. This is for every person who tries to tell you that Black people need to "let go" of our history. That we use slavery as a "crutch" or an excuse for the current conditions of our people in this nation. Don't let that guilt trip move you toward the path of ignorance! It is a trap to keep you complacent to injustice! It was the same line of methodology they used on our ancestors to keep us subject to the system of inhumane chattel slavery in the United States! It was illegal for us to read, to write, to speak our home languages, to sing our own songs, to worship our own religions, to keep our own names at the punishment of death! Black Man Woman, and Child, you are the most lethal weapon to America when you TRULY know these two things: WHO YOU ARE AND WHERE YOU COME FROM.

Know thyself.

There's nothing wrong with Black Americans learning their history. Please do not take it for granted. There was a time in our very recent history that there was no existence of books about Black people or a Black history month to bring awareness to the contributions of Black people in the United States (Google: Carter T. Woodson). Furthermore, all Americans need to learn about the horrors of chattel slavery in the United States so they would not be ignorant. Slavery still exists today in varying ways but most people would not be able to identify someone who was a slave simply because they choose not to educate themselves.

Black Americans especially need to learn the atrocities performed upon our ancestors and we should never forget them, otherwise the same things can be repeated. Learning these things may cause us to experience different emotions of anger or sadness, but we must go through these things to heal and move forward. We almost must realize, our emotional expressions right now can in no way compare to the physical & psychological pains our ancestors experienced first hand. In many ways the tears we cry now are the tears they wished they could lament back then.

We need to learn these things not to build hate or to plot revenge against others, but in order to heal and carry through the fight of those who were stolen from their homeland; died on the ships and bodies who were thrown into the ocean; survived the horrors of trans-atlantic transport being chained to the floors for weeks on hand, laying in human waste; and endured the cruelties of chattel slavery, being bred like animals, raped of humanity, denied of their languages, fractured from their cultures, broken from their families, forced to work in fields that they did not own and forced to build a nation that would forever treat them as less than equal.

If you are a Black American and do not acknowledge the struggles of your ancestors, you deny the very blood that runs through your veins at this moment! Your DNA links you to people who survived the greatest crime never for convicted and never for has been indicted!  If Black Lives Matter to you now, then how can you not acknowledge that  Black Lives Mattered then?

Yes, the United States of America has many sins to confess concerning the many groups of people she has chosen to rape, murder, dehumanize, disenfranchise, and plunder. Don't be one of those who add to those lists of sins by denying, ignoring, or disvaluing the true history of this country. Our ancestors deserve their truth to be told, even if it is violent, graphic, and hard to digest.

Jul 4, 2016

July. 4.1776.

July 4th, 1776.

I see that date and it feels like an imposter. It doesn't feel like it belongs to me.

I go to the Red, White, & Blue parade every year with good intentions. I just get frustrated and can't wait till it is over.

I have issues with the American flag. I can't help but see the blood of the innocent and the persecuted dripping from it's hem.

I have to think about Crispus Attucks when I sing the National Anthem. Otherwise, what's the point.

I think about my grandparents growing up  in Alabama. Sharecropping. Saying the Pledge of Allegiance yet going to segregated schools. Fighting in a war for this country but living segregated bunkers. Working in their houses and raising their children but not being able to use their bathrooms.

I remember being in college and in a race & minority relations class. A conversation about affirmative action turned into viral attack. I was called a nigger and he spat at me.

I remember the feeling of searing anger I felt when I was told the white male who was recently hired made more than I & did not have the level of education nor work experience I had. I smiled, nodded, and thanked God for the raise.

But I still think about it.

It's hard to forgive, but I can forgive.

I just can't forget.

Jul 13, 2015

Alzheimer's Made My World Different

I hate Alzheimer's Disease. 

It's so hard to keep focused and positive these days. Watching my grandmother pass away naturally. I know what the outcome will be but even that is difficult to accept knowing that life will never be the same again without her. I already miss her smiles and touch of her hand. I miss her goofy laugh and thick Alabama accent. I miss her mixed greens and pan fried hoecakes. I miss all shopping trips to the flower shops and Thriftway on Saturday mornings. Sitting in the backseat of that red Oldsmobile with her and my mother, with my father driving and my grandfather in the passenger seat. I felt so privileged to grocery shop with my grandmother! It was like I had the inside trade secrets on what goodies she would have for us in the kitchen! I miss it all. I remember everything.

But now it's like 3 shadows were in that car. I can still see them, but everything is in slow motion in head. My mother and I are still warm, sitting beside each other in the backseat. One day, I'll be sitting there alone.

It is all a bitter pill to swallow. 

God knows how much we can bear. Looking back, it was hard but it was never a burden to help take care of my grandmother. It was a fact of life. She had the disease. Now we had to take care of her the best we could. It was fact. 

The hardest part really is/ was taking care of my own mother. It felt like I had lost my mother sometimes and she became this super caregiver who was obsessed with everything grandma! Phone calls sparsely began with hello and conversations rarely included plans for mother/daughter dates. Any time I had with my mother included my grandmother as well and that enlisted us both giving most of our attention to her. 

In that I had to grow up and understand that it's not all about me... it's about the love and respect I give to others. I learned more patience than ever before. I learned how to bear the weight of others and not make it my cause to solve their problems even when I wanted. I learned how to hold my peace and let God fight for me. I learned how to pray more and talk less. I learned how to stand still but to run to hills when need be.

I can see my mom coming back to herself but she's still not sure what to do with her time now. Shes going from caring for her child, then her father, then her husband, then her mother.  And then what? My hope for her is that she starts to live her life for herself and enjoy retirement. But that's up to her. She is hard-headed. I'm pretty sure she'll find a way to take care of someone else... that's who she is.

I look into the future and hope there can be a world without diseases like Alzheimer's. Hopefully a cure or some type of sure prevention can keep people from having to suffer. Then realizing that this disease is still not done with my family.  Other family members are suffering and have suffered, It is changing our lives, making us see the world differently, drawing us closer in a different way,  rallying us to do better for ourselves and for each other. 

I wish I could have changed things in another direction.

Jun 19, 2015

Juneteenth: 150 Years of Freedom

Today is Juneteenth.

It's time to remember on the tens of millions of our African ancestors who were kidnapped from their homeland and forced to be slaves in North and South America and the Caribbean.

We remember those who died on the ships during the long torturous voyage across the Middle passage.

We remember our ancestors who were stripped of their humanity and identity. Let us never forget the trials and tribulations they were forced to face.

We remember every crack of a whip, every lashing of flesh, all of the blood shed in the cruelty of slavery. 

We remember every man and woman who revolted or ran to freedom.

We remember the black men who fought and died in war to ensure that freedom would be a reality to their people.

Let's celebrate and walk in the freedom for which our people have bled and died! Let us use our freedom wisely, guard it carefully, and embrace it totally.

Let's continue to fight for justice and stand against injustices in the world! We must not let racism, hate, prejudice, nor bigotry have the last word.

Allow this Juneteenth to be a reminder of our tenacity, our ability to hold on to hope, and to our faith in God.

Let all African Americans continue to hope and work toward a better future while remembering and rejoicing over our triumphant heritage. We shall forever strive to newer heights through liberation and excellence.