Jan 23, 2012

Article: "Is It Because I'm Getting Old or is Music Just Really Bad These Days?"

Article: "Is It Because I'm Getting Old or is Music Just Really Bad These Days?"

I have to agree with this article. Urban popular music just sucks: FLAT OUT. The lyrics have no meaning. Being that music and the arts are so central to the Black experience in America, no wonder the blac culture lacks the emphasis, power, and influence that began in the civil rights and Black power movements of the 1950s, 60s, and 70s. We no longer sing or speak of love, joy, or even pain. The Black experience has been dumbed down to that of cadillacs, weed, sex, and money.

Jan 19, 2012

Article: "Are You a Socially Awkward Black Girl?"

Here's an article of  one Black woman's personal account of being a socially awkward. I can totally relate. I've always felt awkard in social situations. Even though I could have been considered "popular" in high school, I never understood exactly how that worked out. I don't know if my goofy jokes or saracastic revelations that make people attracted to me or not. I'm no dimepiece (not in my eyes I'm not)... but I am cute... like a teddy bear... maybe that's why people want to hug me... I really don't appreciate that though... that's really an uncomfortable.

Touching... not my thing. Talking to men face to face... not adept. Telling funny stories where people actually laugh... hit and miss.

Feeling accepted everywhere I go... impossible.

I'm too awkward. But that's okay. I like me.

Jan 18, 2012

Flowers at my Door

So last night when I arrived  home from work, there was a package at my doorstep.... flowers!

Hmmm... who could those have come from?

First thought... my mom. She does sweet things like that.

But why is the package open?
I'm a lil' scurred...

Then I read the address... Apt. A? I live in B. Oh but the A is scratched out.

My mom must've put the wrong apartment...

Let me read the note here: "Your secret admirer neighbor would like to have dinner/lunch and conversation with you."

Oh wow!
Let's look at these things.... I'll be surprised if they're my favorite roses...

OMG! They are!

How did he know????

Should I be flattered?

I know I feel flustered...

Ack! He wants me to get back with him with an answer!


Jan 17, 2012

"Sh*T Natural Hair Girls Say"... Yeah I can relate...

Yeah I've said quite a few of these things... I haven't stood in front of the mirror doing Bone Thugs N' Harmony though.... I'm more of a Diana Ross fan in my blow out...

Documentary: "Is She Crazy?: The Preacher Lady of Riverdale, GA"

I watched this and was just amazed about the tenacity of this Christian woman. Being a Christian myself I understand the call of missionary work, but truthfully, I've always been fearful of how I would survive without working a full time job. By watching this I understand now that it takes a spirit such as her to give up everything and follow Christ. To do the work of the ministry and do it full time, is an honor. I applaud her. God Bless her and her ministry.

Giving Honor to the Pioneers of Natural Hair

Jan 16, 2012

What has become of the Dream that was Dreamed?

A Dream Deferred
by Langston Hughes
What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

When I think about Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. I think about his willingness and the willingness of a generation to sacrifice their wants and their desires as young people for the greater good of their communities and peers.

It really makes me reflect upon my life as a young woman and those of my peers, how willingly would we fight for something we believed in, knowing that in the end, we may never physically see the fruits of our labor.

Being young, having youth, are we willing to give up the pleasures of our own lives in order to see others have access to the American dream: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness? How many of us would be willing to be beaten, willing to be accosted, willing to die just to know that your children wouldn't have to experience the same injustices that we have in our lifetime?

How many times have we complained about the current atmosphere of our society, of businesses, of the media, of our music, our culture, our churches, our communities, our families, and even ourselves, yet we have done nothing.  We haven't written letters, haven't even sent an email. Haven't even gotten the nerve up to complain to a manager about bad service. But somehow we expect a change.... No one knows what you need, want, or desire unless you tell them. Closed mouths don't get fed...

How do we expect a change to come when we as everyday citizens don't even realize that we have to be apart of that change? Isn't it selfish of us to live in this life daily, with the resources we have and not use them to somehow better not only our lives, but the lives of others?

Is it too much to ask of us to take a moment and stop thinking about brand new shoes and million dollar basketball contracts to think more about the welfare of those poorer than us or be a voice for the disenfranchised?

What has a dream that was dreamed come to be? Yes, we walk side by side, black, white, red, brown, yellow, but we don't walk together. Our voices? We keep them low, whispering behind the safety of our homes, in our separate communities. We're still divided, by class and social status, clothes and cars. The Haves and the Have Nots.

What has the dream that was dreamed come to be? The dream was melodically spoken, demonstrated through the bravery of those who saw a future through the seperate parts they played into a beautiful symphony called Our Civil Rights.  We honor a man who was instrument for change, but to which we have failed to join in with his orchestra. So the music stands at a pause... waiting for the next muscians of this generation to begin marching to the rhythm... of the beat.... of Freedom.

"Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man can't ride you unless your back is bent."

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Knights Don't Live in Ohio

Sometimes I wonder if romantic love is real. Even when the romance sparks, it seems to be a dream at that moment. Looking into someone else’s eyes and actually feeling some type of emotion, it seems like a foreign notion to me. I believe that I’d probably laugh or start to feel out of place and awkward; but that’s not odd, not odd for me.

I’m very uncomfortable when it comes to romance. This concept of “falling” in love, it just seems like such of a lie. Have I loved men. Yes. Have a “fallen” for them… no. Well, maybe one… but I almost went to jail over that one. But it wasn’t my fault. I mean I was there, but I didn’t do it… I watched… which made me a co-conspirator…. But I didn’t do the crime… who knew throwing bad eggs at a car was a felony?

Bet he’ll never cheat again…

Anyway, back to this love thing. I try not to get emotional about it, but I do sit sometimes and just wonder, will I ever be loved back the way that I want to give love. Do I even deserve love or to be in a relationship? Well I KNOW the answer is yes, but I don’t feel the same affirmation. Everyone deserves to be loved. To be doted over by someone. Someone who looks at them and always sees a speck of beauty no matter how ugly the situation. I have yet to experience that in my life.

I’m almost 30 and I’ve never been loved the way I needed to be loved by a man. It makes me want to cry. Seriously, I’m tearing up… but then I don’t know whether to be angry or confused about this.

I’ve thought about changing my location. Maybe the men here in this part of the United States just aren’t breathing “marriage” air. Maybe if I moved Down South I’d attract some big, tall, chocolate, deep voiced man, who’s ready to settle down and start a family… Probably not.

How much perfume, makeup, and high heels do you have to put on before you can even get a “Hello”? Men don’t know how to talk to women anymore. They don’t know how to ask you to dance. Everyone dances in groups… seriously?!? Are we in grade school at an after school dance??? Ugh!

Flirting comes easy for me, but there’s that delicate line between flirting and sluttiness (if that’s a word). Touch that shoulder a little too much, smile the “right” way, and say that dirty joke you always say, and you’ve left “I’d like to date this girl” mode to “I’d like to bang this girl and never call her again” mode in his mind in a matter of seconds. (Don’t walk down that road! It’s a very itchy road… I hear!!!)

Romance, romantic love… It’s a Fairy Tale. It’s just stories that they give us as children to aspire to have as adults… but they never teach us to be romantic. In the stories, the knight in shining armor comes along to save the princess, they kiss and they live happily ever after. I ain’t never kissed nobody and lived happily ever after that (more horny ever after… but not happily).

To sum it up, it’s not easy to be single in a world that glorifies romance, couples, and marriage. Now these are all great things, things I would love to have with someone else one day, but the real story is that for someone like me, it just feels unattainable. Like it will never happen, or if it does, it’ll be a long while before anyone asks me to walk down an aisle and jump a broom with them.

Until then, I’m going to enjoy my life as it flows. What else is there? Knights don’t live in Ohio.