Jul 27, 2010

Depression again.

Sometimes I just need support. I need someone to hold me up. Lift my spirits. Cheer me on.

Not tell me what to do. Tell me what they want to tell me.

Encourage me. Build me up.

I can look in the mirror only so much and affirm myself without having a day where I just want to throw a brick through that mirror.

Sometimes I just want to stop fighting so hard. I'm working for nothing. Really. Nothing. What I make is just a 'nickel' in Oprah's closet.

It is becoming harder to wake up and enjoy life. I feel like I am just sleepwalking throughout the day. I am not motivated like I want to be. I wish I was just a go-getter. But I'm far from that.

I play lottery tickets in the hopes that I'll win the big one someday and I'd never have any more financial troubles or credit issues ever again.

I want an easy way. If only.

This is just sad. I'm sad.

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