If I Wrote a Memoir of my Life...

If I was to write my own memoir, I would also do the audio reading as well, but I would insist on not releasing the book until after I was dead because the final line would be... "And then I died." I would choke up, gasp, and you would hear a thump like I fell on the floor. Then you'd hear nurses, doctors, and medical staff. And then silence....

But just to creep you out you would begin to hear ominous laughter after like 45 seconds of silence.... and then I would say... "I'm not dead, I'M BEHIND YOU!!!" And hopefully you're not driving because that would really cause some accidents... but since I would be dead already... you couldn't sue me.