Chitlins

My life is like a chitlin circut church musical.

Maybe if I sing a song and do a lil' shimmy, things will turn out better in this next act.
But they'll more than likely get worst... especially since I'm riding Tuxedo Junction...
And then the lights go dark.

Center stage. Spotlight On. Me.

I sing. I dance. I act.
I am a Triple Threat!

Through tears, pain, hurt, and confusion.
I fool you all.
Wearing the colorful artists' mask.
You'd never know the black, white, & grey of my soul.

You only see the smile of a minstrel.

I'm Almost 30. Damn.

I try not to pity myself... or feel down and depressed. I try I really do.

I try to think on higher things, heavenly things that are more than myself.

But I do get distracted sometimes and I start to think about me. I get stuck on my problems and start focusing on a way to fix it.

Focus, Focus, Focus.

And then I get frustrated. I get busted and disgusted because I can't figure it out... I can't immediately fix the problems in my life like I want.

Why! Why! Why!

Then I cry. Or I sit and look at the ceiling. Wondering.

Or really, I'm Wandering.
Still trying to find a way. A way to make it.

The reality is... I don't know. Even through this mighty sense of self of who I am and who I want to be and what I want to leave behind. Presently...

I'm just here.

Working my butt off for the paycheck to payback the pay I got to make the paycheck in a field I didn't even go to school for but I should be grateful I even have a job right?

Shit.

I don't feel bad about being angry. I did everything right.
Didn't get pregnant... Didn't do drugs. Rarely drank (and got drunk). Cursing? Heck No! Went straight into college after high school and yeah, I graduated too!

But where does that leave you?
In debt, single, no kids, lacking the experience of smoking marijuana because they do random drug tests at your job.

*sigh*

I'm almost 30.

Trayvon Martin had to Stand His Ground to Fight for His Life

Trayvon Martin used "Stand Your Ground" Properly; George Zimmerman uses it as an excuse for his negligence, disobedience to the law, and self righteous vigilante attitude. 

The medical report still does not give reason as to why Trayvon felt he needed to get physical with Zimmerman. IMO Trayvon was approached by Zimmerman in an intimidating manner, Trayvon saw the gun but didn't see a badge or a uniform, and immediately feared for his life. I really do believe Zimmerman tried to do some type of "citizen's arrest" and did not expect Trayvon to fight back because he had convinced himself that he was going to "save the day". Trayvon was fighting and beating that man to survive.

It's not "Stand Your Ground" if you are stalking the victim, it's not "Stand Your Ground" if you approach the victim and question them, it's not "Stand Your Ground" if the victim is defending themselves from you; It's not "Stand Your Ground" if you realize on your back on the ground that you made a decision to not follow the directions of the law and that you might die for doing so, that's not "Stand Your Ground". 

And many of you will use the excuse that the pictures being shown of Trayvon are from when he was 12 and 13. Even so, Trayvon was still a child. He was not astronomically muscular or 7 feet tall as some of you want to put him. (I won't even touch that right now.) Anyone who has ever feared for their life or the life of someone else knows that something inside you rises to do things that are normally above human measure.

Those of you who want to defend Zimmerman and say that he was right to shoot Trayvon. I want you to put your own child or a child that you love in Trayvon's shoes and think if they were in the same situation, from the things you taught them about strangers that approach them, what would you want them to do... Fight back or let the strange person lead them away.

Don't use the law as an excuse for your elitist attitude and "super hero" psychosis. Zimmerman put his self in a situation that he didn't have to be in if he had just listened to law enforcement. If "Stand Your Ground" means you don't have to listen to officials of the goverenment or follow laws in general, then yes, let the anarchy begin in Florida. If "Stand Your Ground" means that I can shoot and kill anyone just because I feel uncomfortable about their presence in my neighborhood,  then yes, let the lynchings begin, again, in Florida.
But if "Stand Your Ground" was meant to protect victims from perpetrators, then Trayvon had every right to use this law in his defense. Trayvon was being followed, he was approached, and he feared for his life. So he had to Stand His Ground.

ETYMOLOGY! Symbolism: Why Is It so Important

Even without the word "STOP",
 this red octogan lets you know this
signs meaning.

Let's Talk about Etymology! SYMBOLISM! Why is it so important...

Symbols can mean different things to different people. The purpose of a symbol is to convey a meaning. A great example of this is a "STOP" sign. Even without the word "STOP" on the sign, you recognize the meaning of this symbol by a Red Octogan.
 
Symbols come in different shapes and forms. All symbols invoke some type of reaction from the person who is witnessing the symbol at that time and based on the environment or culture they are in at that time, they will react accordingly. Numerals are symbols for numbers. If we are in a classroom environment and there are numerals written on a blackboard or a piece of paper, we are instantly assured that we are learning mathematics. Our mind then tells us to react accordingly to learn math. 
Words can be symbols. The way we arrange words into sentences or phrases can be symbols. The way we say the words: the tone and inflection in our voice, emphasis on certain vowels or consonants, alliteration, enunctiation, and pronunciation; these are all symbols as well. Words as symbols help us to communicate and understand each other. The word "NOW" let's us know that something needs to be done instantly. Based on who says the word or who writes the word and the way the word is said or written, the person recieving or hearing the word will react accordingly.

An example would be a mother instructing their child to take out the garbage.
At first the mother may be calm.
"Please take the garbage out. Thank You."
If the child does do it the first time, the mother may become more agitated and ask again but with more inflection in her voice.
"I thought I told you to take the garbage out. Please take it out." After a second time the child does not take the garbage out, Mom may become angry and use words that are more forceful to convey meaning.
"Take out the garbage NOW!" The child will then take out the garbage. By hearing mother's change in tone and the emphasis on the word "NOW", the child quickly understood the symbolism and meaning behind mother's words. Even when writing this short scenario, the reader can see the change in tone of mother by the use of punctuation or written symbolism to display emotion or emphasis in words.

The Rainbow is a symbol that means
varying things to different groups of
people based on background, religion, &
culture.

Symbols change over time and will change meanings based on the socialization, culture, religion, and background of the persons who acknowledge the symbol. For example, the rainbow. The rainbow in Christian culture was a symbol of the covenant that God made with man that He would not destroy the earth by flood waters again. The symbol of the rainbow in Buddhist culture signifies the highest state acheivable before Nirvana where the desire for indivdualism is extinguised. The rainbow can also be seen across the world on the backs of automobiles as the flag for LGBT unity and the gay pride movement.

Symbols can be born and then symbols can die. What one considers a holy symbol may be considered a pagan symbol to another. And at other times a symbol that was once considered holy can be considered pagan at another time. "Living" symbols can reveal great meaning in people's lives and unveil layers of internal thoughts, religious revelations, and relalities in people.  Symbols can also lose their meaning and power over time based on changes in individuals and the culture around them; these symbols then become "dead".
Paul Tillich, a Christian philosopher, said that a symbol always "points beyond itself" to something that is unquantifiable and mysterious. Tillich goes further to say that a symbol has "depth dimension". Symbols are complex and their meanings can evolve as the individual or culture evolves.

When symbols take on a deeper meaning to people, people can make those symbols into idols. Meaning people will give deity to an object (non-living or living) and worship it. People will substitute the symbol itsself for the meaning that it represents, instead of the internalizing the meaning of the symbol and evolving from that knowledge.

Symbols are very important in our world. Human beings find symbolism and meaning in everything in which we associate ourselves. We find our spiritual, physical, and mental meanings in the symbols we make important in our own individual lives and the lives of those who surround us daily. We must always remember that someone else may not have the same feelings or ideas about the symbols we deem to be important, and that it is okay. We are all different. We all come from different backgrounds and cultures. We all have different ideas about the Higher Power. But we must remember that we are all human and that even in our being different we all have the same desires and needs. Let us all have the same symbolism when we see each other... and that is to LOVE.

Endure Til the End (Freestyle Poem)

It's 2:41 am right now. And I'm thinking.

Thinking about the world. Thinking about America. Thinking about the people. My people. Black people.

Why should "they" care about "us"?
Do "we" even care enough about "us"? 

Will we continue the fight?

Arrested. Charged. Not yet convicted.

Justice has not yet been served... yet I hear a lesser roar from the crowds.
I don't feel that  heat, that electricity that we were pumping through the circuits of America just a week ago...

What happened?
Have we been "appeased"?
Have our protests been "justified" now and we can all go back home to sit on our couches to wait?
Or will we continue to stand...

Stand for Trayvon. Stand with the South Side of Chicago. Stand with Black Boys and Black Men. Stand with Black Girls and Black Women.

Will we keep our Black fists balled tight and feet planted on the ground...

What shall we do?

No Justice. No Peace.

No peace without justice.

I wonder. I hope.

We can... We will...

Endure.